Just Me

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
the-boy-in-the-woods
acutelesbian

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life.
Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

fat-thin-skinny

this fucks me up every single time

acutelesbian

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

fr3ight-train

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now

esavenezolana

“I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.”

aussietashiegirl

Well fuck…….

hgk477

How to be a stranger

hgk477

  1. Start in the morning by putting on a typical outfit.
  2. Change something about it. Wear a new scarf, hat, watch/wristband or obscure the eyes. Slightly different is better than completely different
  3. Leave your home. If you’re going somewhere familiar, take a slightly different route and arrive slightly later than usual.
  4. If you came by car, leave it somewhere safe for maybe a few hours. Locking the doors isn’t enough: if someone finds you, they’ll get in.
  5. You will be greeted by someone familiar. Acknowledge them, but do not look at or speak to them. A wave or nod will do, and they’ll be on their way.
  6. When you eat, eat outside. Try something new. Find a table you can keep to yourself, and leave a spot open across from you. Let no one sit there, no matter how desperately they ask.
  7. Always wear headphones. Listening to music is optional, but should you do so play something you have never heard before.
  8. You will be greeted by someone unfamiliar. Acknowledge them similarly in step 5, but you may look at them. If they confused you for someone else, it’s working.
  9. Avoid places where you are well known, if possible. If not, ignore them the best you can. You will feel the temptation of their comfort, their familiarity, and their security as you pass. Do not let the friendly faces claim you.
  10. People will ask you for directions, spare change, or similar assistance. You will not recognize a single one of them. Always stop and help, and always make the conversation as long and amiable as possible. Under no circumstances give your name.
  11. If you performed any of these steps incorrectly, go home immediately. If performed correctly, go home at your own leisure at the end of your day.
  12. When you return, look in your mirror, and try to recognize the person across from you. By this point, the process of experiencing your day as a different person will be complete, and this person will be part of you. Should you have any difficulty seeing yourself as you know, the day was successful.
  13. Go to sleep immediately and return to normalcy, if you can.

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ftmtransthings
ftm-trans-thingss

Grey’s Ultimate Guide To Passing As Male

Alright guys listen up. There are a lot of things on Tumblr about passing, so I’m gonna share my collection of tips.

Also, I’m pre-t, and I pass so don’t worry

Also, I’m a teenager, so there’s your age range

This’ll be long, so here are the categories

  1. Hair
  2. Binding
  3. Clothing
  4. Swimming
  5. Behaviour

Hair

Hair

  • Look at popular male styles, see what people have currently and use that as a guide
  • I find that a somewhat shaved back/sides with a short bang thing helps a lot
  • You know those little pointy bits by your ears ?
  • Take some scissors and cut those fuckers. Square them off so they have a blunt edge, not a pointy one
  • Dark hair passes better
  • If you have naturally light hair, you’re fine. But if your hair is naturally dark, don’t bleach it. You’ll look like a lesbian
  • If you wanna colour your hair, dark, stereotypical masculine colours are the way to go
  • I’ve done pretty well with red, blue, etc, but colours like purple have really fucked me over

Brows/Facial Hair

  • Don’t fill your eyebrows, guys.
  • Don’t do it.
  • Bad.
  • Use some coconut oil and make ‘em grow thicker if you have to, but keep it natural
  • Speaking of coconut oil, if you want facial hair then that stuff is cheap as fuck and super effective
  • Also, if you wanna shave your legs or sum, don’t worry about not passing. No one gives a fuck

Binding

Types

  • Binders. You know, those things no one likes but we all need ?
  • You’ve heard this shit, but I recommend GC2B cause safety first and shit
  • Anyways, there are some good types to have
  • I would recommend half tank for summer. I usually use a half tank binder that matches my skin tone
  • For winter, either a nude full tank, OR a black one. if someone sees it, you can easily pass it off as a tank top
  • White full tanks are nice for both seasons. Again, pass it off as a tank top

Safety

  • This is here for the sake of my conscience
  • None of that amazon shit
  • Honestly ? Underworks is too expensive and not that great
  • Don’t bind for more than 8 hours
  • Don’t size down
  • Don’t wear 2 binders at once
  • Don’t put a binder on wet
  • Okay done

Clothing

Shirts

  • Fitted tee’s. they’re slimming, make you look taller, and that’s how most guys wear them
  • Also graphic tee’s are really popular, and hide your chest
  • Button downs are excellent, and look hella masculine
  • Just not flannels, cause those make you look like a lesbian
  • If you insist on a flannel, leave it open with a solid, grey tee underneath
  • These work for short and long sleeves, depending on the weather
  • Sweatshirts from Nike or Adidas or something are popular as fuck
  • Or, solid colour ones
  • Solid colour anything is good, really. Especially in neutral tones
  • Sportswear is super popular, anything dryfit or something
  • Muscle tank’s are fucking amazing. Those fuckers with the thicker straps ? you loon tall and thin and manly and fit and they hide your binder so so so well

Jackets

  • Jean jackets for men square out to body, and are really stylish. Just be careful, because women’s ones highlight your curves
  • Leather jackets are also really great, same rules apply
  • Bomber jackets can work, but you have to be careful of colours and styles. Look online at what other guys are wearing
  • You know those puffy, ribbed coats ? don’t wear those. You look tiny and they highlight curves and shit

Pants

  • Looser, men’s jeans. I’d say go a tiny size up, and make sure their men’s. Women’s jeans accentuate thighs and hips and shit. I recommend straight cut, but any style works. Blue and black are the obvious options
  • Track pants are great. Those black things with a white stripe ? Throw on a pair of those and a sweatshirt or something and you have a perfect outfit
  • Sweatpants. Easy, casual, straighten your legs, and paired with a sweatshirt you have another easy outfit
  • Cargo shorts straighten the legs, and aren’t really popular with girls
  • Jean shorts can be okay, but they’re hard to style. They can’t be too tight or too long or too loose or too short. Try things on carefully, and look at what cis guys are wearing
  • Basketball shorts are common among cis guys. The hard part is making them work with your legs. If they don’t fit well, it’s an easy way to get clocked, so be careful

Shoes

  • These are kinda obvious, but you know how it is
  • Obviously tennis shoes. That’s the most universal thing. Based on your style, cis guys go for a lot of overly obnoxious colours, but neutrals are also nice
  • Vans/converse. Again, pretty universal. the classic black ones, or something red or checkered is always a good choice. you can’t really go wrong with a skater shoe
  • Ankle boots are worn by a lot of cis guys. Just make sure they don’t have a heel and shit, you know ?
  • Cis guys wear two kinds of socks tbh. Those short, invisible ankle mother fuckers, or the weird, ribbed sport things that go up your leg

Headwear

  • Don’t wear beanies. You’re going to look like a lesbian unless you have more masculine features
  • Unless you have long hair that you can’t cut, in which case you can hide that shit
  • SNAPBACKS
  • I can’t stress this enough, snapbacks are amazing I always pass in a snapback, black ones especially
  • Also bandanas. Look up how to do those bandana headband things, they look excellent

Jewelry

  • Yeah yeah “iDk WhO wOuLd WeAr JeWlErY iF yOu ArEnT a TrEnDeR”
  • Fuck off, tons of cis guys wear jewelry
  • Anyways
  • Rings are nice. Those thick, manly, intimidating ones. 10/10
  • If you want piercings, nose and lip rings are great. Also, one earring. I usually wear a stud or a silver crystal in my left ear
  • Leather bracelets are good. Either the thinner, braided cord or those really thick ones
  • A black cord with a ring or a shark tooth on it is a great necklace choice
  • Also chains

Accessories

  • Wallets are nice. They don’t make you pass (or detract from it), but they feel pretty masculine. Something neutral is amazing, like brown or black, but also anything from a fandom. Some sort of videogame or superhero works well
  • Backpacks/bags. Dark colours are usual, but some cus guys like the really obnoxious ones (mine is galaxy, and my cis friend has a neon blue and pink one). Also, ones from more 'masculine’ fandoms work, like starwars. If you don’t pass well, I do in t recomend anything too flashy, but do what you will
  • Headphones tbh. Guys always have them on their neck or looped over their ears, even if they don’t have music on.

Swimming

Binders

  • Swim binders are honestly really expensive and don’t work well
  • GC2B is great, but have a separate one for swimming. And if yours is already tight, size up for swim
  • Use a half tank for swimming, you’ll thank me

Clothes

  • Obviously swim shorts. But same as with basketball shorts, you have to be really careful about sizing
  • Buy. A. Swim. Shirt.
  • Do it.
  • If someone sees your binder, you obviously won’t pass
  • Get a swim shirt
  • Colours don’t matter much. Neutrals blend in, but a swimsuit is a swimsuit
  • Board shorts are pretty damn masculine, I recommend
  • Idk what else to say, but people ask about it, so here we are

Behaviour

  • Shrug your shoulders very slightly. It’ll feel nature if you keep at it, and it makes your shoulders look bigger. Put your elbows on chair arms to do it while sitting
  • Clench your jaw a little bit. It’ll make you look like you have a more masculine jaw line
  • Walk with your stance every so slightly wider than usual. Guys take up space, they don’t try to contain themselves
  • When you sit in the ground, sit with your ass on the floor. Indian style or with your legs out works
  • Act confident. I shit you not, this can be magic for passing. Relax, act confident, lean back, and be comfortable. People see it as dominance and we subconsciously see dominance and our mind trails to masculinity
  • Don’t move out of the way for people gracefully. not saying don’t move out of the way at all, but let yourself brush shoulders sometimes. You probably shouldn’t maneuver your way through people
  • Turn your feet out. Look at girls when they sit and stand, their feet are crossed or turned in. Guys keep their feet flat, and their toes face straight or turn out
  • Sell weed, that’s a pretty big “bro” thing
  • Don’t let people talk over you. If someone cuts you off, keep talking
  • Posture is important. Straight back, firm look, radiate confidence
  • Unless you’re sitting. Then you wanna slouch a bit and look kinda fucking bored, you know ?
  • Don’t sit with your legs together. Spread 'em a bit. you don’t have to be obnoxious, but definitely do it
  • Furrow your eyebrows a bit. It gives you a more stern, masculine look. I promise

Voice

  • Talk slower. Girls talk faster, you want to slow your speaking as best you can
  • Make your voice kinda rough. Talk so you sound kinda husky and shit, it’ll make you sound more masculine
  • That head raising thing really only works for a minute
  • Instead, lower your voice little by little. Talk with a slightly lower voice until it comes naturally and is subconscious, until it’s your natural voice. Then lower it again, and repeat until you’re satisfied
  • Try not to verbally doubt yourself. If you sound timid and uncertain, you’ll sound more feminine. That’s just how people see things subconsciously

That’s all I’ve got for now. If you have more, please add on, and if there’s anything else you want to know, comment or send an ask or message me. If there’s enough stuff I’ll make a second edition to this post, but I’ll answer each personal question regardless